My 19 year old daughter is working for the city as a swimming coach and as a lifeguard. She is a great coach and kids and parents love her. She’s really great with kids who have difficulties. I’m extremely proud of her.
She also speaks her mind when she feels a situation is not fair and that got her in trouble this week…Like in many bigger size organizations, there are cliques and favoritism. If you are not part of the gang, then you are against of course, based on the clique philosophy….
I HATE that way of thinking!
My philosophy is that everybody is great and you have to treat everybody with respect.
That goes in any environment, personal and professional.
OK! Call me naive but that’s the way I think…of course, when someone hurts me, I react and I will tell them how I feel. I will also watch my back with them from now on…I’m human after all!
But after I spoke my mind, I will still treat them with respect and professionalism.
That’s just the way I am. I don’t believe in staying angry with people. Again, naive!
So as a mom, I am now giving advice to my daughter about how to deal with the current situation…you know, I have lots of experience with mean people!
I just hope that the issue will be resolved as she’s stuck in a toxic environment. Unfortunately, she has to learn life!
So how should we deal with heaters at work and in our life?
I have 7 tips to share. I took them from Marquitta Fields and they are really what I do when I encounter haters!
1. IGNORE THEM
I know. It’s a lot easier said than done, but it’s one of the effective ways to deal with haters. You can’t always pay attention to the foolishness people say about you. If you think too much about it, you might find yourself believing the negative things haters say about you. When haters hate, and what they say is neither constructive criticism nor positive feedback, it has no value to your life. What’s the point in getting all bent out of shape by something someone said that you can’t even do anything about? Haters say things that will do nothing but ruin your day, so with that heads up, be prepared to ignore!
2. TAKE IT WITH A GRAIN OF SALT
Sometimes you might have trouble distinguishing constructive criticism and pure hater-ation, because there might be a glimmer of truth in their statement. If this is the case, listen to what they have to say, but don’t take it to heart. If you think you can improve based off of their feedback, great! Just don’t take the negative emotions connected to their statement to heart. Consider the words, and if they’re unworthy, ignore it.
3. DON’T RETALIATE
When a hater hates, they’re looking for a response, otherwise they wouldn’t have made their feelings known. If you retaliate, you’re giving them what they want, and they don’t deserve your time and energy. Don’t try to think of a witty comeback to embarrass them. Believe me when I say, in the end, haters always manage to embarrass themselves without any help. Responding with nasty words will only bring you down to their level, and that’s not cute!
4. DON’T APOLOGIZE
If a hater approaches you with cursing, negativity, and unnecessary criticism looking for you to explain yourself, don’t! You don’t owe them anything! Don’t justify, explain, apologize, or anything of the sort! If they want you to hear them, they need to approach you correctly, sensibly, and respectfully. Never submit to disrespect and nastiness! Hold on to your self-respect and require others to treat you with value and esteem.
5. DON’T TRY TO PLEASE EVERYONE
What ever you do, someone will hate it. Choose left, people get mad. Choose right, people still get mad. Don’t try to appease haters by trying to fit everyone’s preferences; you’ll end up with more people hating you than you’d have just by being yourself. Not everyone will like you, and the quicker you accept that, the quicker you’ll be on the road to accomplish more! When you’re walking on eggshells trying to please everyone, it’s impossible to be the best you can be! Forget that! Be you and love it!
6. ADORE THEM
Not literally. Haters hate because they are jealous of you and your success. No one likes to be disparaged and put down, but if you are, you know that you’re doing something right. Thoughtfully thank your haters, because if it weren’t for them, you wouldn’t know how successful you are.
7. HATERS GONNA HATE
Yeah I said it! Haters will hate and you can’t change that. If you keep that in mind, it won’t hurt as much when the haters are doing their jobs. It’s their occupation. They can’t breathe without negativity, so the best way to deal with that is to keep it in mind, and live as virtuously as you can.
Whether it’s face-to-face or online, haters will always find something to hate on, so don’t let it get you down! Deal with haters in a way that you’ll be proud of later. Focus your time and energy on something productive, giving the haters even more reason to hate! What are some ways haters attack you, and how do you deal with it?